Zero Punctuation

RE: Zero Punctuation's Eve Review.

Despite not owning a console I watch the reviews by ZP each week (in much the same way as I watch Top Gear despite not having a car) and was suprised and delighted this week to find that he was reviewing my dear favourite Eve.

In the way of such things I should offer a riposte to the review as a hardcore fan:

Right at the outset ZP states he isn't going to have anything to do with corporations. Well, OK. That being, kind of, uh, the point of Eve, you may as well stop here. That's like stating you're going to review WOW but you don't want to have anything to do with any of that magic palaver.

Cue lots of jokes about overweight bespectacled smelly whiny nerds. Erm. I don't think I fall into any of those categories, but the only other person I know in the real world who plays Eve does, so it makes me wonder... Well, he isn't whiny, but I kind of am at times, so I guess we make a set.

Bored, bored, bored, eyestrain. As a summary of Eve it leaves out a lot, but I can accept it. I certainly find myself bored a lot, and were it not for the fact of the timebased training system I would probbaly have quit. However that means you hang in there waiting for some interesting expansion that is always just around the corner because then you will be so much more uber than the newbies who have just been pulled in, haha. Fortunately usually you end up making something interesting to do yourself, this being a sandbox, and you having the benefit of YOUR CORPORATION.

Then there is the 'I don't understand it so it's rubbish' argument. Er, no. I don't think I even need to point out the flaw in this one.

Zp next complains that battles are of the 'fight till you look like you're going to lose then try to run away' variety. Erm. Isn't that true of all battles? Not just in gaming, but in the real world too. That's rather like complaining that when you played this game you still needed oxygen.

The training system; yes, it isn't perfect. I would like something that increased with how much you played the game. Oh wait a minute, there is. The more you play the game the more you understand it, something that isn't necessary in WOW and the like because you understand them after about three hours. Plus you get money and better social standing with NPC's, which pays off in its own ways too.

'Missions are all just variations on go here and shoot things'. Well, yes. I'll give you that one. I would like to see more complexity in missions but as they are just one of the million things you can do and mainly aimed at casual players it doesn't really concern me too much.

Ultimately I think you missed the point of Eve, ZP, because you failed to understand what a corporation is. If you think that it means you get given a cubicle and are told to sort beans till we get back to you you are imposing wow-like grind onto the terminology of Eve and making two plus two equal 3.

I hate this particular piece of terminology, but there is an apt two-word summary for this review.

ZP: Epic Fail.

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